More about me...

How did I get here? This is the question I kept asking myself. 

It was 2012. I was now a  full time mother and wife. But something was wrong. Terribly wrong. Something that was the essence of ‘me’ had been extinguished. 

 

Ten years earlier I was enjoying the beginning of my career, clubbing and having a riot with my friends. And a little hedonism thrown in too. OK, a lot of hedonism. I loved it. But now, the sexually empowered wild woman I had once been, was just a memory. Worse, she felt like a dream that I had personally allowed to fade away through my own choices. The truth was, my sensual and erotic spark was completely blown out. I hated who I had become. 

 

A mother of two, choosing to live a rather reclusive life by the sea in southern Europe (living the dream apparently). I had bought into the cultural narrative of being a modern woman. I was a mother, a wife who was committed to the family unit for better or for worse. A devoted mother to the kids and a dutiful daughter to aging parents. The house was clean and tidy and I baked fabulous birthday cakes. I put everyone’s needs above my own, and I was empty and lost, trapped inside a cage of my own making. 

I hit rock bottom.

 

As I embarked on a quest of recovery (which would take me 10 years of unlocking myself piece by piece) something happened. The wild woman I once was, became roused from her slumber. And like a warrior, she fought her way back to me. 

 

Now, fast forward 10 years and I am back living in London, divorced and ready for a whole new chapter. One I want us to explore and write together.

I am flourishing, finally the strong and courageous mum I always wanted to be; full of fun, energy and emotionally connected with the two little souls who are so important to me. But I am also here for me too. By day I work on cool TV shows. By night, I work on changing my life, and, others along with me for the ride, one day at a time. 

 

I am ecstatic to step into my essence once again. This time though, I am wiser. No need for Dutch courage, simply brimming with curiosity and reconnecting with the erotic energy that crackles with a lust for adventure, purpose and empowerment.

It is fucking scary. Every Single. Day. 

Yet I also feel utterly alive. 

 

And if I can do it, so can you.

Let’s play, let’s revel in the fun stuff, celebrate our gloriousness. 

 

Let’s explore our darkness (don’t hide from it, that bitch will get you in the end). 

Let’s reprogramme our conditioning (conditioning’s a bitch too, it’s takes long hard focus to shift that motherfucker) and unleash the spirit inside.

 

Let’s reclaim our best selves and live with love, courage and compassion.