This week I had intended to write a blog about the rivalry between women. My aim was to discuss my observations, from my own personal experiences, and suggest, that we all hug each and unite to make the world a better place. As I normally do when I write, I research other sources and I became reacquainted with the political debate between the Radical Feminists and the Liberal Feminists, and then I came across the term TERF, Trans Exclusionary Radical Feminists – this seems to be the latest divide between the Radfems and the Libfems.
What started out, for me, as a fascinating read into the opinions of all parties involved in this heated debate, became an upsetting journey into another war on human rights. With a heavy heart I read page after page of aggressive and hateful comments.
My initial blog post seemed naïve and pathetic and I felt drawn into the trenches in order to fight for our freedom to exist peacefully. Yet as I began to build a constructive argument as to why I felt the Radfems were as oppressive as the patriarchal system they rally against, I continued to feel despair and hopelessness.
Talking through my despair with my husband we were able to identify that my nature was not to join a side and fight, for it is true that I do understand the stance of the Radfems, I get it, some ciswomen may indeed feel threatened by a ‘man’ entering their safe space. On the subject of porn, I have female friends who find it hateful and destructive, I disagree with them, but they are entitled to their feelings. Prostitution can be the end of a woman, but it can also be the beginning of her powerful choices. It is not my place to tell another woman how she feels and how her experiences have impacted on her life.
So ultimately, we all have a belief system which we think is right, and that is how it should be, but I think the key is not make others wrong for having a belief system which does not match ours.
The world can be a dark place, nevertheless, it can also be a place of joy. We bring beautiful little human beings into the world every day, some of us celebrate the rising of the sun, the cycle of the moon, and some of us even celebrate the Intelligent Design of our natural world. Our planet is an extraordinary place, humans have suffered and survived adversity, yet blood has and continues to be shed.
Can we not move forward into a place of Truth and Reconciliation? Can we not look upon the likes of Nelson Mandela and find it in our hearts to forgive the past and move forward? Can the war raging between human beings and their sexual preferences not be laid to rest? To once and for all stop making each other wrong? To move into a space of trust?
It is complex, I know.
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